A plea for your life

To the one who is thinking about suicide –

Thank you for reading this and considering my words. My prayer is that my words will help stop you from a desperate act that will destroy you and devastate others.

Some voice is telling you right now that taking your life is the only way to end the pain that rages inside of you. But that’s not true. What you are considering will be an irreversible decision for a temporary pain.

The truth is, suicide doesn’t end the pain; it multiplies it many times over.

I know this because, over a decade ago, my husband committed suicide.  He was a pastor who believed in God and told others about Him, and yet, in his darkest hour, he made the unalterable choice to take his own life.

The pain of that act nearly incapacitated me for years and still tears at my heart, my family’s hearts, and the hearts of many others.

I would have done anything to help him had I known what he was planning, of what he was suffering – had I any idea of the smothering battle that was raging inside of him. But I didn’t. Because he didn’t tell me.

He didn’t have to die to end his pain, and neither do you.

There may be some changes that could be made and need to be made to help you get to the other side of this pain still breathing, and that’s okay. Recognizing that something isn’t working for you and asking for help is brave and courageous.

Let me remind you that there have been better days in the past, and there will be better days for you ahead.

I know that you do not feel anything good right now, but that’s just it – what you are feeling is just that – a feeling. And while emotions are good indicators of what is going on in our hearts, they are terrible dictators. What you are feeling will not last forever – feelings change. And this feeling you are being overwhelmed with now will change.

What you need to do right now is to tell someone how you are feeling. None of us can do life alone.  The good parts and the bad parts are meant to be shared. If you don’t feel you have someone safe to talk to, there are people ready and waiting to listen and to help.

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255.

Believe me when I say that you are loved and needed. No matter what you are facing or how hopeless you feel, there are people who love you and are willing to walk with you through your pain to the other side.

And this. Especially this. God loves you. There is no problem too big for Him; there is no life He cannot redeem.

Since the dawn of time, God’s grace has brought men, women, and children through impossible situations, and what you are going through is not too hard for Him.

You are worth every ounce of effort it may take to keep you here.  Before you were ever born, He designed only one of you. You are a gift – a beautiful, unique, and irreplaceable gift.

God made you and then set in motion a plan for you to live a full life, a life filled with His peace and love. He has a purpose for your life that only you can fill.

You may possibly be thinking right now that your death will get back at someone who has hurt you, but that is not the case. Your death will only hurt those who truly cared for you, and the more they cared for you, the deeper their grief will be.

And don’t be fooled by the lie that those who love you will be better off without you. That’s a lie from the devil, whose goal is to destroy. That’s it. He is the destroyer, and the more he can destroy, the happier he is. And that includes you. He wants you to believe that you are alone. He wants to convince you that things will never get better. But those things simply aren’t true. You aren’t alone, and things can and will get better if you are willing to let someone help you.

Those who love you will carry this with them for the rest of their lives. They will miss you. Every birthday, every graduation, every holiday, every milestone…every day.

For a very long time, maybe forever, they will wonder what they did wrong and what they didn’t do right.

They will endure the projected judgment, both real and perceived, of others for a choice they didn’t make and fight to ignore the whispers that tell them that they weren’t worth fighting for.

Regardless of any conflicts, you may be feeling right now, they do want you in their lives.

Life is a gift, and God is the giver of life.  You are worth fighting for. Jesus believed that so much He fought to the death for you.  

But here is the truth: life can be hard.  We all desperately need God’s grace.  Right now, He is reaching out to you with that grace. Won’t you reconsider and take His hand?

Listen as someone else, who understands where you are:

Please pick up a phone and call someone. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255.

If you would like to locate a church or counselor near you who can share the hope of God’s Word and give you loving support, please write to me here: melissa@melissadawnbaker.com